Peaceful Parenting 101

This is a repost from a former blog I had last year pre-pregnancy.

The phrase 'peaceful parenting' was somewhat misleading to me at first, as if the alternative is complete warfare and misery. Instead, I think of it as respectful parenting.

What is peaceful parenting? To me, it's all about respecting your children's needs and wants. Tim, my husband, offered this great tool for measuring whether or not you're doing the right thing. Think ahead to when your child is 18 years old. Will the 18 year old version look back on each decision you made and agree that you had their best interest in mind? Will they be glad you were the one making decisions for them? Would they have preferred someone else raise them instead? An example would be, instead of ordering your child to head to bed right at 7:30 p.m., establish a fun routine they look forward to. If your objective is asleep by 7:30 or 8:00, try heading to their room 30 minutes ahead of time to read books with your kid. This is a ritual they'll look forward to and as a bonus, these moments are precious ones you and your child will remember forever.

I think it's interesting to explore this notion with your own childhood. I think back to decisions my parents made, and don't always feel they made the right ones. I've discovered that some mom's and dad's take this way of looking at things very personally. They get offended easily, but I think it's just because they feel guilty for some of the decisions they made or are currently making. More on that in a future post, guaranteed.

Want some more information on Peaceful Parenting? Check out this guy, Stefan Molyneux. He has a website (Freedomain Radio) with tons of free content and also posts great videos on YouTube, like this one on Peaceful Parenting during the toddler years:

 

Don't have 15 minutes to watch the video above? Here are the main points:

• Q: How do you avoid force when your child is resisting, such as when your child does not want to brush their teeth or when refusing to sit in the car seat?
• A: In rare cases, restraint is necessary. For example, your child probably doesn't like to have their diaper changed, but it is necessary. You have to use restraint to facilitate this process.

Restraint is appropriate when your child is acting against their best interests. Be mindful, restraint may be necessary, but never violence. This principle is universal; for both children and adults.

Wrapping up with Journey Enjoyment

The top three things I'm currently enjoying along the journey.

• Gardening: As I mentioned in my first post, we bought a new house in May of last year, and I am having a great time working in the yard! (Gross, that reeks of something my mom would say. Help me!) This year, I've been mowing more, and even learned to weed-eat! Tim is busy with a full time job, and school and clinics in his free time! It feels nice to be able to take some of the load off his shoulders so he can fully focus on everything else. A couple of weekends ago, we also installed new flower beds, lined with brick, around the trees in our front yard. My dad and Tim helped a bit, but I'm proud to say I did a majority of the work!
• Reality TV: Don't judge; this has been a tough week having to say my final bye's to the Housewives from Wistera Lane! I had to turn somewhere with all my grief. This item seemed more than appropriate, as the new season of the Bachelorette just aired on ABC this week! I go through phases of being interested in this series, but right now, I'm totally into it!
• Me Time: With all the alone time, I get to fully embrace hobbies and laziness. Lately, I started reading the Hunger Games trilogy and started this blog. Tim thinks I'm stressed, so maybe I can work some of that out through writing. I've long thought writing a book would be an awesome achievement, but that's fairly daunting, so I'll stick with the blog for now!

Anyone else an avid reader? Recommend some books! I think my next read might just have to be 50 Shades of Grey.